It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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