He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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