Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize