dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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