By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize