you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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