someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize