UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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