carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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