dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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