The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
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i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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