Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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