Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize