and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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