i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know her cup size but not her name....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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