I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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