i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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