Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
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After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
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And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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