I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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