Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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