I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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