I heard we made out
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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