i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize