I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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