im having a threesome with these popsicles
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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