But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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