You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize