We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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