i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize