bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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