her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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