This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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