Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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