If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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