apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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