the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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