Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Randomize