Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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