I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
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I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My vagina just clenched in fear
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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