fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize