can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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