Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize