I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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