Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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