Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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