shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize