It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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