i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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