John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize