We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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