So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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